Are you a regretful person? Do you regret a lot of things you do? Sometimes they torture you? Pardon the French but do you ever say to yourself: “#@!? was I thinking?”
I used to! I think everyone does. Don’t have stats on it but I am pretty sure everyone I talk to has had that moment and if you haven’t, come for a coffee and quick chat and I will make sure you say it… the question is why? Why do we get into these situations?
Simple: it’s the EMOTION!
Your emotion controls many decisions in a given day. From what you wear to what you do, where you go, how you say things, what you say, and so on. Emotions guide us and if you read up on the brain, emotion is a part of our decision making process.
So what’s the cure? Well there is no cure but we can create a behavioral process to lower the average amount of times you get into a regretful situation. How you ask?
Simple: Talk in third person!
Nikos is the best! Nikos rocks! Nikos, Nikos, Nikos… NO! I don’t mean this!
Third person approach is much different. It is an art that is developed over time! You must take your time learning the technique. You put yourself in a baby step learning process.
The third person approach works like a charm when engaged in any situation where a decision will be made and emotion is part of it.
Examples include, should I buy something? Should I go to sleep? Should I do my homework? Should I spend time with a person I don’t like? Should I be getting advice? Should I, Should I, Should I…
When making critical decisions to problems, I use this process (replace with your name):
- Calm yourself down with a coffee or something that relaxes you
- Analyze the problem analytically
- Calm yourself down again by forgetting the problem
- Create the options that exist to the decisions
- Say: What is the best decision here for Nikos? Nikos, it is best for you to… because… and you will not regret it for the following reasons, Etc.
- Write it down to have the why of your decision handy
- Remind yourself that you made the decision for the reasons…..
Try this for a few months… it will be hard but the advantages will change your mood. You will be happier in every decision you make. You will become a decision making GURU…
How did I come about this?
When running your own business situations come up where you need to make a critical decision. Sometimes you can get advice and sometimes you can’t. This process came about when I thought to myself, WHAT WOULD I RECOMMEND TO A CLIENT?
Magically the decision to use third person was an excellent choice… Simply put, AWESOME!